My live, unadulterated journal, typed into my phone while working on completing the 768 Calorie Challenge.
10:50 AM - Pre gaming with Lilja’s Heifer Weizen 12oz bottle review – 5.5%ABV. Decent.
11:00 AM - 2 grilled pre-cooked Johnsonville Stadium Brats on buns with 2 Claussen pickle spears.
11:10 AM - On the way out to my uncle’s lake house to meet my cousin.
12:30 PM - 1 McDonald’s McDouble, 1 medium fry, and 1 medium frozen strawberry lemonade. Nice and refreshing.
12:46 PM - Arrival, let the festivities begin!
1:00 PM - 1st MGD 64 Lemonade 12 oz can for review.
1:10 PM - Slammed an ice-cold 64 Lemonade. #2 down.
1:20 PM - #3, ugh. it’s official, the D-Train bailed on the challenge leaving me to continue solo.
1:30 PM - Slammed #4, getting full and I gotta whizz.
1:35 PM - #5, I’m starting to slow down, I need a dip in the lake…aka, the bathroom.
1:56 PM - #6, half way though the challenge, I think it’s getting to be time for some wakeboarding!
2:14 PM - I’ve fallen behind and nature calls, finishing can #7 on the can.
2:23 PM - To catch up I’ve gotta down this one quick…
2:40 PM - Must. Catch. Up. Can #9
2:40 PM - Time to drain the system and hop on the boat. Can #10 starting to feel a buzz. Taken long enough.
2:50 PM - 2 left, I’m finally feeling a buzz, I really gotta piss, and I’m in the boat with two beers that aren’t in a cooler glistening in the blazing sun, it’s showtime. #11 is up.
2:57 PM - My final can, I have 3 minutes left, my bro is wakeboarding, and I really gotta go…
3:00 PM - Wow. I finished the last can at the last possible second. Damn am I full, but holy crap, I did it! At this point I’ve got a mild buzz but by no means do I feel drunk. Winning.
4:00 PM - The aftermath – It finally hit me. And caused a good enough wakeboard wipe out to really torque my knee. Awesome. The rapid consumption of 64 was enough to get me mildly drunk, to my surprise. On the flip side of the coin and not surprisingly, it also gave me rot-gut, heartburn, and a hangover even before sleeping.
7:00 AM - The next morning – I woke up with no ill-effects experienced…aside from burden of shame…and a jacked-up knee.
I picked up the last 12 pack of cans for $8.29 at Woodman’s, or $0.69/can. How many other people had the same idea as me? Well, no one smart anyway. In the end, it was a horrible idea, as I expected. D-Train bailed on me at only 2 beers in and, while I certainly can’t blame him, I feel somewhat abandoned. After all, he should have been sharing in my pain! So, after reliving my college days by slamming two of the beers, the rest seemed to go down fairly easily. Maybe it was because they were ice cold, maybe it was because it was in the 90′s outside, either way I was surprised to find myself moderately drunk following the challenge. I expected very little affect to come from The Challenge to be honest. I ended with speech faintly slurred but no terrible loss of normal motor skills, that said, I sure wasn’t any good at bags. Moral of the story? Anyone that’s counting their calories yet trying to achieve a drunken state might as well just man-up and drink calorie-rich beer with flavor; the alcohol is higher anyway. The 768 Calorie Challenge just goes to prove that even with the low price of $8.29 and somewhat low calorie count, this beer isn’t worth consuming. Between the artificial sugar sweetness and flavor that’s cloying to say the least, and the frequency of bathroom breaks, this beer just isn’t good, but I didn’t expect otherwise. The Challenge should have been attempted with regular MGD 64, not the “Limited Edition” Lemonade version.